AGENT -X-V-CCCLXIV (15364)
September 12, 2023, Dan Townsend
In 1953, a peek under the curtain enveloping what Churchill called “a mystery wrapped in an enigma”—his definition of the Soviet Union, revealed the following events. First “Stalin” (Josef Djugashvili) died of a “stroke”? while dreaming up yet another purge. Then Lavrenti Beria, Stalin’s “executioner in chief”, begging for his life, joined his pal in the afterlife via numerous bullets administered by various likely purge targets, and, according to N. Kruschev, himself among them.
After the brief appearance on the scene of Stalin’s “heir” soon enough exiled to managing a power plant in Siberia, the team of “Bulgy and Krush”, as they were referred to in the Western press, Nicolai Bulganin and Nikita Kruschev—later only Kruschev, emerged as the General Secretary of the Soviet Union, the office formerly held by Stalin.
Over time, the feared NKVD, renamed the KGB, settled into a slightly relaxed relationship with, among others, the US CIA. During this time Kruschev and his family traveled to the US as a guest of President Eisenhower, participating in the famous “Kitchen Debate” with his “minder”, Vice President Richard Nixon.
The agent of the title, assigned to the US Embassy in Moscow, officially a protocol officer, known in this capacity as Micheal Phillips, performed his tasks with the usual efficiency and dispatch.
His wife accompanied him in this assignment, whose biography referred to her as a former schoolteacher, complimented his role with forbearance (Spaso House, our embassy in Moscow was no holiday hotel) and an unusual ability to read her husband’s unspoken signals and expressions along with passing skill in the Russian language, enabling both to regularly be found mixing with Russian crowds, habitués, venues and the natural landscapes present in the city of Moscow, “minders” from the KGB always on watch.
Unusually for a foreign service officer, Micheal, whose hobby involves restoring and maintaining collector cars during his respites in the US, drove around in a second hand Pobeda typical of the make used by his KGB minders, necessitating random visits to various service garages around Moscow.
It was a little odd to see an aging Russian car with US diplomatic plates running around here and there among the thousands of Pobedas in Moscow’s roads, usually messy with the “mud” of melting snow making it impossible to distinguish one from the other. Besides that, an assortment of plates from the “Union’s” band of captive nations sometimes replaced the diplomatic plates on Micheal’s car. No doubt that “losing the yankee’s car” led to a number of embarrassments and likely demotions among Micheal’s minders.
Suddenly it was realized that there was a “mole” in our embassy leaking secrets to the KGB. Micheal, among his other duties, was assigned to track down the mole. Tricky business, finding a traitor among colleagues tightly bound to each other socially in the confines of embassy life in an officially hostile country.
Not long after Micheal’s assignment, he and Margaret, his wife, drove to their usual service garage for maintenance. They waited in a reception area for customers—this being a “high-end” service facility, while work was being done. As usual, someone would roll a cart with glasses of tea into the reception area. This time however, instead of the usual low-ranking employee doing this job, a rather more upscale character propelled the cart, clearly more attuned to the social graces of an educated person.
Micheal paid special attention to the shoes of this individual, clearly free of traces of the muddy sidewalks a worker would have on his shoes, not to mention the light color of the soles of the man’s shoes—clearly never having gone near a puddle or splash, not to mention the floors of the service garage.
With something of a flourish, the attendant carefully placed the glasses of tea before the two Americans. As he was leaving, the attendant looked back as if to see the Americans enjoying their “gift”. Micheal coughed as he raised his glass, which Margaret interpreted as his “don’t do that” signal. The attendant went on his way, satisfied that his “gift” would have its planned effect. Quickly, thanks to the carpet in the reception area, Micheal quickly emptied his glass behind his chair, as Margaret, on cue, did the same.
It was clear to Micheal that the mole was a person who knew of Micheal’s new assignment, which narrowed the list of suspects down to no more than the fingers on one hand—one of whom was Micheal’s section chief.
The Dénouement
In the spooky world of “Intelligence”, reporting on suspicious activity on the part of a friend and colleague is a requirement of the job. Confrontation however, of whatever sort is never used in such cases. The best route to resolution is actually to use the spy organization which handles the mole to expose him or her. Micheal was well versed in this process.
The time, 1 minute into May 9 Moscow time, is celebrated in the Soviet Union as “Victory Day”, when Germany’s surrender in WWII actually took effect. Micheal was unusual in the CIA because he was, for more than a decade, despite being offered several promotions, remaining in his Moscow post (with annual “vacations” in the US).
“Long termers” such as Micheal were the real professionals in the intelligence trade, cultivating deep relations with their assigned country and even, in some cases, developing virtual relationships with counterparts in the host country’s intelligence service as a sometimes useful “back channel” in, for example, hostage and sometimes spy exchanges.
Nameless on both sides, Micheal’s and his counterpart engaged in an annual gift exchange to coincide with Russia’s Victory Day holiday. The following is a typical scenario: On an agreed upon time and date, Micheal would carry a mesh bag containing 6 bottles of Johnnie Walker Red to a tea vendor whose cart was stationed along a walking path in one of Moscow’s parks. While exchanging pleasantries with the tea vendor, Micheal’s mesh bag would be traded for a similar mesh bag containing six cans of the same caviar served at tables of the Kremlin’s highest officials.
This exchange however contained a twist. The night before, Micheal carefully removed the cover over the bottle caps, placing an english word on each bottle before carefully restoring the cover. The words were, when assembled: “the mole has seen the light”. This, of course, is not a lie because moles (the animal variety) experience light even as they are blind when dug up by humans or animals, or facing obstacles forcing them to surface and start another tunnel in a new direction.
Human moles, just like animal ones don’t always understand the meaning of their exposure, and can be used to convey bogus information to their handlers which, when intercepted, confirms their treachery.
Of course, Micheal’s nameless counterpart knows this scenario well, and suspects that he may be being “set up” to receive information designed to mislead, which his superiors might blame him for passing on.
At this point, the mole is totally useless to his Russian handlers, besides being a source, when exposed and interrogated, of Russian tactics and methods. At some point the “mole” will realize that every minute he spends in Russia might be his last and will suddenly seek a new posting elsewhere, if not forfeiting his career by resigning—an admission of guilt like no other.
Whatever happens, Micheal got the result he was assigned to get, in exchange for which he got two more months leave in the US, enough time to finally finish restoring the Morgan 4/4 and taking it on a long road trip with Margaret—a lot more fun than driving his battered, rusty Pobeda on the polluted roads of Moscow.
Following are photos of, first, the various models of the Pobeda, Russia’s first “mass produced” automobile, then a view of the Morgan 4/4, featured in the Agent/Micheal story.
1946 Pobeda, Russia’s first mass-produced car
1936 Morgan 4/4, handbuilt, ordered years in advance, this model beyond price.
KILROY'S WORLD (AT 87) 
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